Let’s face it after the honeymoon phase is over…marriage can be rough. Ideally as a married couple we overcome all odds: financial failure, illnesses, loss. Sometimes these kinds of issues can strain a marriage to the breaking point. Sometimes it’s too much fighting, not really speaking up or not feeling supported or abandoned in some way by your partner. There are so many possibilities that can happen it would be hard to list them all here.
What I teach couples in couples session work is that if you are able to to voice your true emotions as they come up in an organized way, such as Barbara DeAngeles’s Map technique, then you can keep your relationship free of the kinds of feelings that begin to shut doors to communication and love.
These emotions left unexpressed can erode love in no time. If held inside, these feelings can also cause significant health issues. Toxic emotions need cleared out of the system on a frequent basis so they do not do damage to the relationship. No matter how difficult the circumstances it is usually quite possible to forgive. Just remember that forgiving is not condoning. It’s about you feeling better. It’s about you getting your happiness back. If you don’t do the work, you may not have that. Then the moments of your life are spent tinged with dark feelings instead of joyous ones. You end up ruining your own life, coloring your time in unpleasant ways, focused on negativity. There are solutions. It is possible to be happy again.